Naples, by far was the least impressive looking port of them all. Most big city ports look very industrial with a view of the city in the background. But, usually, the city is a beautiful combination of architecture, art and nature. Not Naples! It was a mismash of medieval fortresses, renaissance architecture and dingy modern buildings. I chalked it up to having just been in Kotor a couple days before and it would look better after we drove out of the port. Nope! There was trash and graffiti everywhere! Even around Herculaneum and Pompeii! At first glance, it looks like a very rundown and depressing place. Naples is in an area of southern Italy which has fifty percent unemployment and according to Rachella, our guide, lots of government corruption.
It took me a while but, once I looked past the rust on the surface.... the Naples area has a lot to offer. As a matter of fact Naples is more like home than anywhere else I visited on this trip.
"Let me ‘splain…No, there is too much. Let me sum up!" -Inigo Montoya
To do so, I must backtrack to when our guide and her driver, Rachella and Umberto, picked us up. As soon as Rachella spoke (English with thick Italian accent), we felt at home. What I mean is, in southern Italy, they speak the dialect of Italian that we, as Americans, are most acquainted with. Also, Dee's family understands this dialect along with all of its hand gestures (finger pointing to eye, biting fist, giant arm movements, etc..).
Now, I had booked this excursion based on the places of antiquity, Herculaneum and Pompeii, that I wanted to see. Usually, pretty quickly, the guide will realize this and cater to me. This time that went out the window in the first couple of minutes. While we were loading up one of my kids said my mother in laws nickname "Nanna" in front of Rachella. Her eyes light up and she says "La Nonna?" and gestures toward mom while looking at Dee. Dee then says yes! "La Nonna! Umberto (waves him over and points at mom) La Noooonna!" Umberto then says, "La Nonna? Ahh, La Nonna! Bene, bene!" This translates to "Grandmother! Good, good! " Which doesn't come close to the excitement these two were exhibiting. So, for the rest of the day, Mom was La Nonna and was the queen. Deservedly so!
After Umberto locked my wheelchair down we headed out for Herculaneum. Rachella, as soon as we started moving, began her tour. First, please allow me to provide a brief description of this magnificent and intelligent woman. Rachella is a beautiful, robust woman in her late fifties who is a smoker. She speaks English fluently with a thick southern Italian accent like Sophia Loren. But the great part comes from her smoking because she often would talk until she would run out of air and her last word would be gravelly sounding like Harvey Firestein (Robin Williams brother from the movie Mrs. Doubtfire). For example, she would say the word 'clever' with Sophia saying 'clev-' and Harvey saying the '-errrr' (the Harvey inflection will have (hf) next to it from here on. We are kicking ourselves for forgetting to video record her. Another frequent term was "Mama-Mia! That's bett-errrr!" (hf) Which meant saying Mama-Mia was better than cussing. Her whole style of speach and demeanor made me love this entire excursion.
As we drove, Rachella pointed out that most of the homes and even apartments had produce gardens around them. "The volcanic materielll (hf) provides nutrient rich soil for this!" Sure enough, there were gardens everywhere! I was seeing less and less rust and Naples beauty was beginning to show itself.
It took me a while but, once I looked past the rust on the surface.... the Naples area has a lot to offer. As a matter of fact Naples is more like home than anywhere else I visited on this trip.
"Let me ‘splain…No, there is too much. Let me sum up!" -Inigo Montoya
To do so, I must backtrack to when our guide and her driver, Rachella and Umberto, picked us up. As soon as Rachella spoke (English with thick Italian accent), we felt at home. What I mean is, in southern Italy, they speak the dialect of Italian that we, as Americans, are most acquainted with. Also, Dee's family understands this dialect along with all of its hand gestures (finger pointing to eye, biting fist, giant arm movements, etc..).
Now, I had booked this excursion based on the places of antiquity, Herculaneum and Pompeii, that I wanted to see. Usually, pretty quickly, the guide will realize this and cater to me. This time that went out the window in the first couple of minutes. While we were loading up one of my kids said my mother in laws nickname "Nanna" in front of Rachella. Her eyes light up and she says "La Nonna?" and gestures toward mom while looking at Dee. Dee then says yes! "La Nonna! Umberto (waves him over and points at mom) La Noooonna!" Umberto then says, "La Nonna? Ahh, La Nonna! Bene, bene!" This translates to "Grandmother! Good, good! " Which doesn't come close to the excitement these two were exhibiting. So, for the rest of the day, Mom was La Nonna and was the queen. Deservedly so!
After Umberto locked my wheelchair down we headed out for Herculaneum. Rachella, as soon as we started moving, began her tour. First, please allow me to provide a brief description of this magnificent and intelligent woman. Rachella is a beautiful, robust woman in her late fifties who is a smoker. She speaks English fluently with a thick southern Italian accent like Sophia Loren. But the great part comes from her smoking because she often would talk until she would run out of air and her last word would be gravelly sounding like Harvey Firestein (Robin Williams brother from the movie Mrs. Doubtfire). For example, she would say the word 'clever' with Sophia saying 'clev-' and Harvey saying the '-errrr' (the Harvey inflection will have (hf) next to it from here on. We are kicking ourselves for forgetting to video record her. Another frequent term was "Mama-Mia! That's bett-errrr!" (hf) Which meant saying Mama-Mia was better than cussing. Her whole style of speach and demeanor made me love this entire excursion.
As we drove, Rachella pointed out that most of the homes and even apartments had produce gardens around them. "The volcanic materielll (hf) provides nutrient rich soil for this!" Sure enough, there were gardens everywhere! I was seeing less and less rust and Naples beauty was beginning to show itself.
When I booked Pompeii, my travel agent recommended I visit nearby Herculaneum because of its accessibility, so I agreed. Rachella discussed Mt. Vesuvius and its eruption two thousand years ago and how it changed the region. Then she discussed Herculaneum and how it was a resort for the wealthier people of the region. It was buried in the same eruption as Pompeii. Also, she mentioned how it was almost completely preserved (compared to Pompeii) because it was totally covered by sixty feet of 'volcanic matriellll' (hf). The first area she showed us were the boat houses. They were filled with the actual skeletons of over three hundred people who sought refuge in them to avoid the two thousand degree ash and pumice rock that was raining down from above. Unfortunately, so much pumice and ash came down that they were completely buried by it in just a few hours. Within three days this ocean front town was over a half mile from the waters edge. Because of the volcanic material, Fresco paintings, mosaics, the buildings and even the wood were well preserved (the wood became petrified). The paint looked like it was only a few decades old. The important part, for me, was that there were ramps and bridges installed for wheelchairs for almost complete access. When I couldn't roll into a building I would walk in with the help of cousin Bill and my kids. It was extremely tiring but well worth it! Rachella would always have an arm out for La Nonna to escort her around safely.
When this tour was over we went back to the van where Umberto was waiting for us. Umberto is a very big man (he would assist my 650 pound wheelchair up and down the steepest vehicle ramp ever with ease) with a baby face and speaks maybe twenty words of English. When he was securing my wheelchair I asked in an Italian accent (I have no idea why, at least I didn't yell it) 'Do you play rugby?' He looked at me with a puzzled expression then Rachella translated. He smiles and says "No, no, me polizia bodyguard! You be ok!"
So at least I knew that for the rest of the day he would take a bullet for me. Then we headed to Pompeii. On the way, Rachella was talking about Italian politicians when she says "Italian people, they are stupeed! But, sometimes they are clev-errrr!" (hf) As she pointed to her eye (meaning "see what I mean?"). She definitely did not care for Italian politicians who were the brunt of many of her jokes. "Stupeed!"
So at least I knew that for the rest of the day he would take a bullet for me. Then we headed to Pompeii. On the way, Rachella was talking about Italian politicians when she says "Italian people, they are stupeed! But, sometimes they are clev-errrr!" (hf) As she pointed to her eye (meaning "see what I mean?"). She definitely did not care for Italian politicians who were the brunt of many of her jokes. "Stupeed!"
Pompeii, for me, was a series of dead ends but I was able to view some of the public areas and amphitheaters. I wasn't able to go up to the forum where the excitement is. There you will find casts of bodies that were buried where they fell, penis shaped arrows carved into stepping stones pointing clients in the right direction to the brothels. The brothels, themselves, with their multiple graphic paintings on the walls, which were used as menus, depicting different sex acts to choose from. At least my fourteen year old son was able to experience this (14 is about the age the younger clients would have been) with his mother and grandmother. While the others did this, I people watched. One of the more memorable moments was when a small italian guide was giving a private tour in English to a family. An Italian family was lurking nearby listening to the guide as they walked. The guide, noticing this, snapped something in Italian that shocked the lurkers who gave him a nasty look. Then a couple of the men reached into their pockets but changed their minds. I thought at that moment they were going to stab the guide and then probably kill all of the witnesses, me included (where was Umberto in my most dire moment?). Instead the diminutive guide gives them a look and in English says "good day!" to them. The lurkers then walk away with all of them (men, women and teen children) saying "You have a good day!" in the most threatening tones. All of this happened in ten to fifteen seconds. I people watched a little less closely after that! About fifteen minutes later my group came back, including my son who was now a man! On the way back to the van, Rachella exclaims "Mama-Mia, my leeggggs!(hf) Time for lunch!!!
Lunchtime? Pizza! Pizza was invented in Naples and I wanted some. Rachella took us to a family owned restaurant near Pompeii. It was located down a long and beautiful grape vine covered driveway. Everyone ordered their own pizza. My son ordered the wertzel and chips and turned out to be hot dog and french fries, which he loved. I ordered the Caprese pizza and a glass of house wine. When it arrived it was a fire baked crust brushed with olive oil and covered with fresh uncooked greens, tomatoes and unmelted slabs of mozzarella oozing milk. I had to eat it like a sandwich and it was incredible! Heck, the crust was good enough to eat by itself. Pizza in the U.S. is ruined for me.
Next Rachella and Umberto took us for a drive along the Amalfi coast thru the towns of Sorrento and Rachella's hometown of Positano. What a beautiful coastline. All of the buildings are built on cliffs beginning at the ocean and extend well up into the surrounding hillsides (all have gardens). The beaches here are rocky, ranging from rounded pebbles to large boulder outcroppings. The locals just pick a rock and lay on it. First we passed thru Sorrento on the way to Positano. We stopped at a small turn out above the town where a few shops were located. Positano has only one road and the rest is pedestrian. Pedestrian, in Positano, means stairs everywhere! So, my ability to get around would have been nonexistent. The view was amazing and Rachella broke out a box of fresh picked cherries "Some fruit for the br-eakk!" (hf) Rachella reflected on growing up in Positano this way, "We would wake up and climb into the h-eeels to go to sch-oooool! (hf) Mama-Mia! that's better." Umberto pointed out a local lemon based liqueur called Limoncello at one of the shops that has 32% alcohol in it. He made sure I got a shot of it. The taste of sweet lemons with the kick of rum and with quick effect. I felt very good for the rest of the day.
We then headed back to Sorrento for window shopping, coffee and gelato. As usually, the woman went shopping while Rachella showed the "Men" (refer to Alex's Pompeii experience) local hidden gems. First, we got some gelato and coffee (I declined since, by now, I knew if I drank another cup of amazing Italian coffee I would never drink another cup in the U.S. again). Then Rachella took us to a hidden Spanish palace right by where we were standing. We were only able to enter the foyer but it had a beautiful fresco on the wall. There were a couple of small wine shops in there also. This sight would only be known to a local and easily overlooked by tourists.
It was now time to head back. We had one hour before the ships last call and what appeared to be more than hours drive to the port. This is where it gets crazy! First, Dee, who had moved to the front seat, was having trouble finding her seatbelt. Umberto, seeing this says "S'OK, bene, bene! You no need!" First let me explain how Umberto, no wait, how every Italian in Naples seems to drive. Actually, Rachella, who does not drive, said it best, "In Italy, the lines on the road, they are for decoration!" No kidding! I noticed Umberto straddling the lines on the highways all day (at least those were heading the same direction). He would occasionally look in the rear view mirror see my concern and ask "Don! S'OK?" I'd nod yes and he would keep going. So began our white knuckle "E" ticket (ask your grandparents) ride back to port. We were taking blind curves and passing around turns all while driving the twisting cliff top roads that are two hundred feet above the Mediterranean. I would check on Dee from time to time and could see her trying to devise some way of getting her seatbelt on without Umberto noticing. Also, I believe that most of the air between vehicles is believed to be wasted by Italian drivers. At many times we would be following two feet behind the car or scooter in front of us who would be doing the same with the vehicle in front of them. All at 65 KPH (40 MPH)! Good thing I had that Limoncello shot. Lane changes? No signals, just go! Stop signs? Only suggestions! One time we rolled a stop sign in front of two polizia standing next to their car. They didn't even turn their heads. Rachella upon seeing them "Ahh, two polizia, one can read and one can write!" BEST LINE ALL DAY! After a few minutes of riding this way, you just give up and let fate decide things. That's when things get fun again! Heck, that's my whole philosophy on my life with ALS in two sentences. Just then, I started to notice that only a few of the vehicles had any damage on them. For that matter, I didn't see any vehicle accidents (or boats in Venice) either. They drive the same way) everywhere in Italy. It is like a precision clock on the edge of chaos. Anyway, there was no way Rachella and Umberto were going to let anything happen to La Nonna!
So we get back to the port, I kid you not, with twenty minutes to spare! We say our goodbyes (Yes, Umberto kissed both of my cheeks) to two of the most unique people we have ever met and head to the ship. After we were out of sight I turn to everyone and ask, "Am I the only one, or did we just get off Mr. Toads Wild Ride?" Everyone laughs and completely agreed.
So we get back to the port, I kid you not, with twenty minutes to spare! We say our goodbyes (Yes, Umberto kissed both of my cheeks) to two of the most unique people we have ever met and head to the ship. After we were out of sight I turn to everyone and ask, "Am I the only one, or did we just get off Mr. Toads Wild Ride?" Everyone laughs and completely agreed.
Ok, so that wasn't such of a "sum up" as much a as short story. Naples? It's still a pit! A pit surrounded by some of the most amazing fruit I have experienced! Its enveloped by such a rich mix of architecture, natural beauty, food and antiquity. Combining that with a crazy, colorful, rich people and their culture makes Naples one of my favorites!
My next and final Mediterranean post will be about the cruise itself.
My next and final Mediterranean post will be about the cruise itself.